The U.S. Justice Department recently allowed the merger of Live Nation and Ticketmaster.
Was the technology to physically and psychologically merge Hitler and Kim Jong Il unavailable? Were my convenience charges too convenient? Slow week?
I know; I know. You’re angry. I’m angry. Harvey Milk’s angry.
But fortunately for us, I have a column. I’m thrilled with the news. You would be too if you were a columnist. Outrage. Issue. Overused open-letter format. We got a column, boom.
Dear governmental brain wizards who thought this was a good idea,
Let’s be honest, other governmental entities, well, I’ve learned to accept being disappointed with them.
The president is on TV more than Leno. The House hates each other, and Congress couldn’t pass ‘Go’ to collect $200.
But you, U.S. Justice Department, I thought you were different.
You gave us the Office of Intelligence Policy and Review, the National Institute of Justice, the Civil Rights Division and other crucial offices that have caused the two people reading this to lose attention.
But what have you given us with this ruling, JustDep?
During the announcement of the ruling made last month, Assistant Attorney General Christine Varney said due to the merger, vendors outside of Ticketmaster, namely AEG and Comcast, would compete more openly and actively because Ticketmaster would give it’s ticket-sales technology to AEG and sell a subsidiary to Comcast.
Obama early in his presidency called Bush II responsible for the weakest anti-trust legislation in the last half-century. Appointed by Obama, Varney is who Sarah Rosen Wartell, executive vice president at the Center for American Progress, said “couldn’t be a better choice” to fight monopolization happening in America.
The fight didn’t really turn out to be Rocky IV, did it?
I don’t know about you, but even before the merger, Ticketmaster and Live Nation’s “competition” didn’t really seem to create a whole helluva lot of bargins. In the 1996 world before the two became ubiquitous, tickets were a little more than $25 on average. Fourteen years later and you couldn’t see Whitesnake for $25. And I’m guessing the next fourteen aren’t looking much better.
Because here’s the rub, JustDep: now we have one company with exclusive deals with thousands of venues across the country that also manages to handle hundreds of big name artists from an acquisition of a management company.
And this company is merging with a promotion company who until last month sold tickets and had brokered exclusivity deals with other big names like Jay-Z and Madonna.
You do know what a monopoly is, right? Do any of you Justice Department people ever go to concerts and wonder why you’re always going to the only two games in town? And now you just merged Will with Grace and you’re telling me there’s going to be more diversity?
You pissed Bruce Springsteen off, JustDep. The Boss.
The concern of those in the business is that the promotional arm of this new conglomerate will muscle venues into using Ticketmaster for ticket sales even if they don’t want to.
But wait, you guys have a solution: self-regulation. And if there’s one thing that 2009 taught us, it’s that self-regulating industries really, really are looking out for the consumer and not their risk-laden self-interest.
Maybe Ari Emanuel, who serves on Live Nation’s board, can ask his brother Rahm Emanuel to explain it to you.
Ahhhhhh, the sour taste of government.
Better still, why don’t you spin Springsteen’s “Badlands:” “Poor man wanna be rich/ Rich man wanna be king/ And a king ain’t satisfied/ till he rules everything”
Now, with the government’s blessing, Ticketmaster is truly king.
